LESLIE SIEGEL APPEARS ON TELEVISION AS JANIS JOPLIN READING A LETTER FROM LESLIE SIEGEL'S MOTHER RANTING ABOUT LESLIE SIEGEL NOT LOOKING LIKE JANIS JOPLIN!
“JANIS JOPLIN’S LETTER FROM MOTHER”
STARRING: Leslie Siegel
TAPING NOVEMBER 2, 2006
EMPTY STAGE; THEN LOW LIGHTS TURN MIXED COLORED SIXTIES LIGHTING…MOD LIKE THE OLD “LAUGH IN” TV SERIES…
Lighting should be erratic and spacey. Leslie Siegel a.k.a. Janis Joplin comes storming on stage singing PIECE OF MY HEART as Janis Joplin… She sings with much energy and emotion.
“I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,
Take it!
Take another little bit of my heart now, baby!
Oh, oh, break it!
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah.
Whoa, have another little piece of my heart now, baby,
You know you got it, it makes you feel good,
Oh, yes indeed.
You're out on the streets looking good,
And baby deep down in your heart I guess you know it ain't right,
Never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night,
Honey, I cry all the time!”
LIGHTING BECOMES WHITE BEHIND JANIS…
Janis becomes Leslie reading a letter from her mother in a very thick Brooklyn accent. Leslie as Janis Joplin begins to read a real letter she received from her mother ranting about Leslie saying she looks like Janis Joplin!
“Dear Leslie, I called you last night but you were out. Rodney said you received my check and my letter and I think it would be right and correct of you to send me a thank you note! Things regarding your situation… I respect you for trying to get a good job and do something with your music career… But I don’t approve of you saying you look like Janis Joplin! You don’t look like Janis Joplin, and that’s the end of it!!!!!!”
LIGHTING BECOMES VERY SIXTIES AGAIN
Leslie becomes Janis Joplin, quickly racing into the song
GET IT WHILE YOU CAN!
“In this world, if you read the papers, Lord,
You know everybody's fighting with each other.
You got no one you can count on, baby,
Not even your own brother.
So if someone comes along,
To give you some love and affection
I say get it while you can!
Honey, get it while you can,
Hey, hey, get it while you can,
Don't you turn your back on love, no, no!”
LIGHTING BECOMES VERY WHITE AND FLAT BEHIND JANIS AS SHE TURNS INTO LESLIE READING THE REST OF HER MOTHER’S LETTER…
“I am appalled by it!!!! Yes, I was friends with Eartha Kitt, Sidney Portier and James Earl Jones, but I didn’t say I looked like them!!!!! You know, in a way, Beverly Hills is a small suburban town and it’s going to back fire in your face!!!! You don’t look like Janis Joplin and that’s the end of it! No decent young man, if ya’ ever meet one will ever put up with it!!!!”
LIGHTING SUDDENLY BECOMES PSCYCDELIC AGAIN WITH LESLIE METOMORPHISING INTO JANIS JOPLIN SINGING THE SONG SUMMERTIME:
“Summertime, time, time, time, time
Child, the living's easy.
Fish are jumping….
And the cotton, Lord
Cotton's high, Lord, so high.
Your daddy's rich….
And your mama’s good-looking, babe.
She's looking good now,
So Hush little baby, baby, baby, baby,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't you cry,
Cry!”
LIGHTING TURNS FLAT WHITE AGAIN!
JANIS JOPLIN BECOMES LESLIE AGAIN READING MORE OF HER MOM’S LETTER:
“I’m coming to the Beverly Hills Hotel August 23rd! Do not call me! Do not write me! And do not invite me to your home! Because you don’t look like Janis Joplin and that’s the end of it! No decent young man, if ya’ ever meet one, will ever put up with it!”
LIGHTING TURNS SIXTIES, LESLIE TURNS BACK TO JANIS JOPLIN SINGING MERCEDES BENZ!
“Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV?”
LIGHTING TURNS STARK MINK WHITE COLORED. JANIS TURNS TO LESLIE AGAIN READING THE LAST OF HER MOM’S LETTER!
“I bought ya’ a blouse! I’m sure it’s going to look good on you! And I do hope your old roommates will leave you alone now! Get a good job! And remember, you don’t look like Janis Joplin and that’s the end of it! Love, MOM!”
FADE FROM WHITE TO CRAZY SIXTIES, TO JANIS JOPLIN DANCING AROUND LIKE A MAD WOMAN! FADES TO BLACK!
Possible Credits: Dedicated to Janis Joplin, a true emotional rock and roll queen!
ADDITION: LESLIE SIEGEL WILL BE AUDITIONING FOR QUEEN OF THE DOO-DAH PARADE AS JANIS JOPLIN LOOK-A-LIKE!!!
